{"id":1288,"date":"2018-05-10T01:25:30","date_gmt":"2018-05-10T01:25:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.judithhoulding.com\/?p=1288"},"modified":"2018-05-10T01:42:24","modified_gmt":"2018-05-10T01:42:24","slug":"organizing-kindness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/houldingspace.com\/?p=1288","title":{"rendered":"Organizing & Kindness"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

What do organizing and kindness have to do with each other? Read on!<\/p>\n

Clients often say \u201cthat\u2019s a toss\u201d or \u201cit\u2019s junk\u201d in a dismissive voice when we\u2019re sorting through their stuff. I ask for clarification: \u201cAre you donating that item?\u201d <\/p>\n

Because to me, \u201cthat\u2019s a toss\u201d or \u201cit\u2019s junk\u201d means the item has no value to the client, and maybe they\u2019re directing me to put it in the trash.<\/p>\n

What I\u2019ve learned from asking this clarifying question is that clients use such language as a way of criticizing themselves. By diminishing the value of the object, they are subtly undermining their former self that brought that object into the home.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when I put on my educator\u2019s hat, and ask if they would like to learn a little about negative self-talk and how it undermines our work together. For example: Language use affects our emotions, which affect our neurological wiring. If we use language that has a negative emotional charge, we will \u201chard wire\u201d our negative emotional thoughts. Subtle self-criticism during the organizing process will slowly erode our self-confidence and self-esteem, and may make the decluttering process itself unpleasant (instead of the great fun that I know it is!). <\/p>\n

\u201cToss that\u201d says \u201cWhat sort of person would have bought that worthless item?\u201d And \u201cIt\u2019s junk\u201d says \u201cWhat idiot would acquire that junky item?\u201d Imagine saying things like that to yourself for two or three hours. Exhausting, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

So I invite clients to re-think how they talk about the items they are discarding. If, instead of \u201ctoss that\u201d or \u201cIt\u2019s junk,\u201d clients use a neutral phrase such as \u201clet\u2019s give that away\u201d or \u201cI no longer want that,\u201d they will create less \u201ccharged\u201d emotions that will then cultivate a neutral attitude about the decluttering process. And becoming aware of how negative self-talk can undermine our self-worth and enjoyment of life often increases clients\u2019 awareness of other ways they criticize themselves. With this new awareness, I ask clients to be curious: How else can they change how they talk to themselves? How can they be kind to themselves?<\/p>\n

As my coaching mentors have taught me, awareness is the fundamental building block of change!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do organizing and kindness have to do with each other? Read on! Clients often say \u201cthat\u2019s a toss\u201d or \u201cit\u2019s junk\u201d in a dismissive voice when we\u2019re sorting through their stuff. I ask for clarification: \u201cAre you donating that item?\u201d Because to me, \u201cthat\u2019s a toss\u201d or \u201cit\u2019s junk\u201d means the item has no value to the client, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1290,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,15,2],"tags":[11,53,10],"class_list":["post-1288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching","category-organizer-coach","category-professional-organizing","tag-coaching","tag-negative-self-talk","tag-organizing"],"yoast_head":"\nOrganizing & Kindness | Houlding Space<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/houldingspace.com\/?p=1288\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Organizing & Kindness | Houlding Space\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What do organizing and kindness have to do with each other? Read on! Clients often say \u201cthat\u2019s a toss\u201d or \u201cit\u2019s junk\u201d in a dismissive voice when we\u2019re sorting through their stuff. 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